.Realize.

He sent me messages that killed me to read! He was in pain and i couldnt help at all.. If anything, i was the problem. I was the one making it worse.. The poor guy went through so much. He would stay up late, just thinking. I admit, i was unpredictable. It was like walking on thin ice with me.. At any moment i would crack and turn into a total wreck.. I never realized how bad i was to him and how much i put him through until about... Now.

.Its.Like.A.Song.

He sent songs..

Chris Cagle - Look at What I've Done to Her
Brantley Gilbert - You Promised
Craig Morgan - I Want Us Back
Avenged Sevenfold - Warmness of The Soul
Nickelback - Far Away
Buck Cherry - Sorry

So many songs could have described us.. Everything we went through.. Fighting, crying, happiness, laughter, and the connection!!

After fights we would send songs and song lyrics to eachother explaining how we felt. Sometimes they worked and helped us out.. Other times it just made things worse!

.Right.Choice.?.

Days went by and we talked for hours on end! We talk about everything and we opened up to eachother. There reallly was a connection.


After a while, things became more serious. I guess serious is the wrong thing for the two of us..

On my 16th birthday, he bought me a dozen roses and a teddy bear. Pretty darn cute. I seriously felt like the luckiest girl in the world. Then things took a turn for the worst..
 We started fighting and fighting. We fought about nothing! I found myself just picking fights because he told me he would be on xbox at 8:00 and it was 8:01. It got to the point where we couldnt even talk or have a conversation without fighing. But throough all of those fights, he never left. He stayed. He never actually fought back with me. Some times it was just me fighting with myself. I lost my mind and all i though was "things would be easier if he was here..". Every once in a while i would have what i like to call "realizations", which is just me realizing how much i messed up. I would send long messages to him at ungodly hours just saying sorry and explaing how much i messed up.





 January 19th 2011 12:42am

" I'm sitting in my room crying.. Can't really believe that it took me this long to realize everything..
I'm sorry.
I treat you horrible, I take jokes too seriously or maybe just too far, I make fun of you, I don't ask how you day was or anything, I don't care about the conversation or take it seriously unless it's about me..
I'm so sorry..
You deserve more that I give you. I promise that this time I will pull up my socks..
Maybe I'm lacking sleep.. I miss you.. Maybe I'm just crazy.. Who knows anymore?!
Anyways, I have never met a person who is so much like me, than you! It's like we just have this crazy connection.. Its like you... You get me. I love that. Your my best friend. I trust you, I can tell you anything and you won't judge me. You make me laugh so hard that I have water come outta my nose, my ribs hurt and I can hardly breathe! I'd kill for you.. I feel like I met you for a reason.. Like there is a purpose for it.. Like, I'm supposed to protect you from something.. I don't know.. My mom loves the fact that I met you.. I'm always smiling and you have this effect on me.. Goodness.. Case, you know me like the back of your hand.. I miss you lately.. We hardly have time to talk, it drives me crazy.. Believe it or not, I love those cute smart-ass comments, those blonde moments you get once in a while, the big words you use that I don't understand, when you steal my words, but mostly, your uber duber complete fails at talking.. Makes me laugh just thinking about it.. Haha! Even your laugh is enough to put a smile on my face, and I love that the most.."

.How.We.Met.

This may be hard to be believe but we met on xbox. Yeah, of all places. He was a friend of a friend. After we started talking, things just hit off. He was so nice and constantly making me laugh!

One night we decided to play xbox together, just the two of us! We got to know eachother and the more we talked, the more we grew a liking to eachother. So that night he decided to add me on facebook.. Ok well he gave me his name and once i saaw his face i was legit in shock! His smile was adorable and he was actually cute, which is very unlikely on xbox! haha. Right after we added eachother on facebook, it was "bed time". So i hopped off xbox and started messaging him on facebook!

One problem though.... I live in Alberta, Canada...